Expressions of Love

The Bible and human experience allow us to describe love through four distinct Greek concepts: Storgê (natural family love), Philia (brotherly affection and friendship), Eros (romantic desire), and Agapè (unconditional, sacrificial love). These expressions guide human relationships and illustrate the nature of divine love.

1. Familial love (storgê)

1 Thimothy 5:8 “Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.”

Ephesians 6:4 “Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.”

Ephesians 4:32 “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.“

*Storgê* is the natural affection that binds members of the same family together: parents, children, and siblings. It manifests through the attachment, protection, and loyalty that characterize family relationships.
The Bible contains several important verses regarding family love. These passages highlight the importance of caring for one’s loved ones, forgiving, and remaining united.
In the New Testament, Paul uses the compound adjective *philostorgos* (tender love toward one’s kin) to call believers to love one another like a true family (Romans 12:10 “Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.”).

2. Love of friendship (philia)

Proverbs 17:17 “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity.”

John 15:13 “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.”

Proverbs 17:17 perfectly encapsulates the loyalty, mutual esteem, and deep bond characteristic of true friendship.

Philia is the love shared between friends. It is grounded in trust, loyalty, and sharing. Jesus provides the finest example of this in John 15:13.

It is, therefore, a love characterized by mutual affection, tenderness, and sharing. This is the type of love that binds the members of the Christian community together, as mentioned in Romans 12:10, which exhorts us to sincere brotherly love (*philadelphia*) and calls upon the Church to mirror the same attachment, protective instinct, and tenderness naturally found between parents and children.

3. Romantic love (eros)

Song of Songs 7:6-7 “⁶ How beautiful you are and how pleasing, my love, with your delights! ⁷ Your stature is like that of the palm, and your breasts like clusters of fruit.”

The Greek term *Eros* is not used in the text of the New Testament, but this form of love is the central subject of entire books of the Old Testament. The Song of Songs celebrates the beauty of carnal desire, passion, and mutual attraction between a couple.

Eros expresses the attraction between a man and a woman. It encompasses desire, passion, and intimacy. In God’s plan, this love finds its rightful place within the covenant of marriage (Genesis 2:24 “That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.”).

Some approaches also distinguish *ludus*—describing the playfulness and joy of a budding romantic relationship—and *pragma*, a mature love that grows over time through commitment, forgiveness, and faithfulness. Although these two terms are not biblical, they describe realities found in married life.

4. Divine love (agape)

John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”

Agape love is the very essence of sacrificial and voluntary love, which gives without expecting anything in return. It is the supreme and unconditional expression of love, exemplified by the sacrifice of Jesus Christ for humanity. This love transcends emotions and focuses on self-giving. It is beautifully described in 1 Corinthians 13: love is patient, kind, selfless, compassionate, and ready to give of itself without expecting anything in return. It is the most perfect expression of Christian love.

However, there is a fifth Greek concept of love—self-love, or *philautia*—which is often overlooked yet essential. The Bible addresses it in a very nuanced way: it does not condemn it, but rather reframes it to prevent it from turning into selfishness. Scripture describes *philautia* in two opposing forms: healthy *philautia* and toxic *philautia*.

Self-love (philautia)

1. Healthy *philautia*: loving oneself in order to love others
This legitimate self-love stems from the fact that human beings are created in God’s image, as Genesis reminds us. Caring for one’s body, mind, and soul is a form of respect for the Creator.
Loving one’s neighbor “as oneself” presupposes a proper sense of self-worth (Matthew 22:39). This implies that it is impossible to love others rightly without cultivating a healthy self-esteem.
The Bible establishes self-love as both the measure and the condition for loving one’s neighbor.

2. Toxic *philautia*: self-love and pride
When self-love becomes detached from God and others, it transforms into egocentrism. This form of *philautia* places the “Self” on a pedestal, at the expense of love for God (*Agape*) and for one’s neighbor (*Philia*). It is this distortion that the Bible firmly condemns.
The Apostle Paul warns that in the last days, “people will be lovers of self” (the Greek word used here is literally *philautos*—lovers of themselves), proud, and unholy (2 Timothy 3:1–2 “¹ But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. ² People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy,”).

In summary, *philautia* does not denote selfishness, but rather a balanced attitude of caring for oneself, recognizing one’s value before God, forgiving oneself, and moving forward with confidence. Those who accept themselves through God’s eyes are better able to love others. The Bible validates *philautia* as long as it remains a means of showing kindness to oneself in order to better serve others, rather than an end in itself.

Conclusion

All these forms of love have their place in human life, but they find their true balance when illuminated by the love of God.

By receiving the love the Father offers us in Jesus Christ, we learn to love ourselves rightly, and to love our family, friends, spouse, and neighbors with a heart renewed by the Holy Spirit.

“We love because he first loved us” (1 John 4:19).